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Title: The Five Best Gifts to Give Your Family Author: Margaret
Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright:
© 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com
Word Count: 744 Category: Parenting, Relationships

THE FIVE BEST GIFTS TO GIVE YOUR FAMILY By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

When we think of giving gifts, we usually think of things to buy
for people. Yet if you think back on gifts you’ve been given, it
might not be the material gifts you received that are foremost
in your mind - it might be the kind of gifts that deeply touched
your heart and soul. It might be various ways, other than
material things, that people expressed their love to you.

There are five gifts of love that we can give to our families
that can make a huge difference in their lives.

THE GIFT OF CARING AND COMPASSION

We all yearn to feel cared for, yet many of us withhold caring
and compassion for others. A profound gift we can give to our
loved ones is to listen with our heart, to understand and accept
rather than to judge, and to stay open to learning rather than
to protect against being hurt.

Think about the last time someone actually listened to you and
gave you understanding and acceptance. The feeling of being
understood and accepted with caring and compassion is one of the
best feelings in the world. Instead of focusing on getting this
from others, why not focus on giving it to others? You might be
surprised at how wonderful you feel in giving this gift to your
family.

THE GIFT OF COURAGE

One of the best gifts we can give our loved ones is our own
courage. This means being having the courage to stand in our
truth, to be honest about what we want and don’t want, what we
will do and won’t do, what is and what is not acceptable to us.
It means having the courage to take good care of ourselves, even
if others don’t like it. It means not succumbing to our
controlling behaviors that come from fear: anger, withdrawal,
compliance, resistance, but instead being honest and above-board
about ourselves. It means being willing to face conflict rather
than give ourselves up to avoid it.

When we have the courage to face conflict and tell the truth, we
not only provide our family with a role model for courage, but
we provide opportunities for our loved ones to step up to the
plate in the face of our truth and learn to be courageous too.

THE GIFT OF SERVICE

We are on this planet to learn to love ourselves and each other,
and to help each other. One of the best gifts we can give our
family is to role model this by doing service. Helping others
fills the heart and soul in ways that nothing else can. If
children do not see their parents doing service and helping
others, they may never learn the great joy and fulfillment that
comes from giving. One of the best gifts we can give to our
family is to provide ways of doing service.

THE GIFT OF CREATIVITY

All of us are born with various ways of expressing our
creativity. Expressing creativity is a profound way of
connecting with Spirit, since expressed creativity is a direct
expression of Spirit. Providing your family with many ways of
expressing their creativity is a great gift. Creativity can be
expressed in so many ways - cooking, crafts, building things,
music, art, movement, telling stories, writing, humor,
photography and video - the possibilities are endless! Creative
family projects are especially wonderful in creating family
closeness.

THE GIFT OF LIGHTNESS OF BEING

Lightness of being - fun, joy, laughter, playfulness - is a
great gift to give to others. Lightness of being is infectious -
our laughter and playfulness can help others take life less
seriously and “lighten up.”

Lightness of being is one the results of all the other gifts -
of caring, courage, service and creativity. When we give these
gifts, we feel a wonderful lightness within, the lightness that
is the result of fully giving from the heart. Our own lightness
of being can bring lightness into our whole family. Children
love it when their parents are playful, funloving and joyful.
Laughing together as a family is one of the most precious
experiences in life.

We need to focus of giving these gifts each day, not just during
a holiday season or special occasions. These gifts are far more
important than any material thing we can buy for someone. In
fact, we might not be so focused on material gifts if we
frequently give the gift of love - of caring, compassion,
courage, service, creativity, and lightness of being.

According to Dictionary.com, a hobby is “an activity or interest
pursued outside one’s regular occupation and engaged in
primarily for pleasure” (Dictionary.com). Merriam-Webster
defines a hobby as “a pursuit outside one’s regular occupation
engaged in especially for relaxation” (Merriam Webster
Dictionary). A hobby is relaxation and pleasure, OUTSIDE of
one’s occupation. Many people today, go to work, come home, do
not do anything, and then go back to work the next day, like
mindless drones slaving away at their job, making money for
bosses and owners who are pursuing their own interests and
hobbies. That is why they started the business in the first
place; it was something interesting to THEM that THEY could
pursue. Well, it is time to work to live, not live to work; that
is my motto. Find something to do outside of the workplace,
something that YOU enjoy, something that relaxes you and brings
you pleasure. Find something you can do with your family or with
other people, to have good experiences, rather than that job you
are always doing.

It is time for such working people to find a new hobby. Find
something they like to do. There are a million hobbies or interests one
can pursue. Just think of all the things you like, or all of the
things you ever wanted to do. Think of what you need to do to
achieve those things, and start doing it. Do it in your spare
time. You will be surprised what a difference just half an hour
a day focused on one particular interest will do. Many of my own
hobbies I learned by studying them on my own in my spare time.
If you can learn anything, you can learn anything, it just takes
time, and if you prioritize right, time is something you do
have. Learn another language, a new game, a new sport, a new
musical instrument, or a hobby craft you would enjoy.

Maybe you have many interests or hobbies you would like to
pursue. That is great, the more the better. Variety is the spice
of life. Find a variety of hobbies you would like to pursue and
spice up your life a bit. Some of the hobbies I enjoy or camping
and hiking. I bought myself an acoustic guitar and taught myself
to play. I taught myself to play the piano a little, and I also
play the trumpet. One hobby is designing
websites. I speak English and Russian, but I want to learn some
other languages as well.

Geocaching is a fun new hobby; use Global Positioning Systems
to find hidden treasures. I also like to play yard games like
croquet, kubb, bocce ball, and others. Sports have always been a
way for me to find pleasure and relaxation. I play tennis,
basketball, golf, football, and others. Some people find
pleasure in scrapbooking or other hobby crafts.

If you cannot think of a hobby now, come to VarietyAccess.com
your online hobby store
and browse our hobbies. See if you cannot find one that
interests you. We provide everything you need or want to pursue
your hobbies or interests from sports hobbies to craft hobbies,
music hobbies to camping and outdoors hobbies. Whatever your
interests are, start pursuing them. Find an activity or interest
outside your regular occupation that YOU can do for pleasure and
relaxation. Start living again. Do not live to work, but work to
live. Think of anything and everything you enjoy or that makes
you happy and fill your lives with a “variety” of those things.
Quit living your life for things that are not important to you
and start living for the things that are important, recreation
with family and friends, relationships, self-improvement, and
the pursuit of happiness.

Whether you’ve spent several days, several years, or some time
in between in trying to uncover your family’s history or
researching your last
name origins, you’re no doubt looking for some creative
ideas for preserving whatever it is that you’ve found. After
all, computer printouts of a bunch of names are nice to have,
but you won’t exactly be proud to pass that around at the next
family reunion, would you? And think about this: wouldn’t it be
wonderful if one of your ancestors had considered generations to
come? You can do what you wish someone had done for you - you
can preserve the past for the future.

Themed scrapbooks help cover up the gaps

One of the easiest ways to preserve your discoveries is with a
scrapbook. You can compile a complete family history, or you can
create a themed scrapbook. A themed presentation is a
particularly good idea if you’ve perhaps had a lot of success in
finding information about a particular aspect of your ancestors’
lives, but have a lot of holes in the complete picture.

If that’s the case, consider themes such as these:

Early ancestors: This kind of scrapbook might include:

* A map of the location where the earliest ancestors you’ve
traced lived. * Short biographies. * Copies of deeds, wills, and
estate documents * Old photographs. * And, if you’ve managed to
locate their graves, photos of the cemetery.

Migration: Simply record how your ancestors migrated. Include:

* Passenger lists of the ships (check The Ships List at
http://www.theshipslist.com/). * Photos. * Passports and
naturalization papers.

Family occupations: How did your ancestors earn their living?
Did they farm? Were they doctors or lawyers? Actors? This kind
of scrapbook could include:

* Copies or transcriptions from journals. * Copies of
memberships in societies. * Prizes and awards won.

These are just a few ideas to get you started. You’re limited
only by your imagination.