Salute Friend

How many articles have you read with titles like “Ten Steps to Developing Self Confidence”? Well I’m sure more than you can count. What does this say about this strategic approach to the issue of enhancing Self Confidence? Well I’ll leave the answer to that question for you to sort out.

In this article I would like to propose a very different approach which requires no memory work on your part. Doesn’t that feel like a relief? All it requires is an awareness of when you are being honest with yourself and a commitment to such personal honesty. Let me explain.

When we define what it means to be “confident” what are we really talking about? Well it basically means that you a) know what you desire and b) you are committed to manifesting that desire.

Now you might say well if I could do that I would already be confident and I wouldn’t be wasting my time reading this article. In response I would say that it is that very negative mind set that robs you of your confidence.

You see the state of “feeling” confident is a reward that you receive from deep within yourself, one might say from deep within your inner wisdom, when you decide, through your freewill, to heed its desires for you. Some “think” this takes courage because within and without there appear to be so many obstacles (i.e. negative beliefs/emotions) to choosing such a road within one’s self.

These obstacles include such things as issues of worthiness, self doubt, fear of being ostracized , the need for permission from others, guilt feelings, dread, fears of making a mistake and many other negative beliefs/emotions. These so called obstacles, if you let them wrestle your confidence and your life away from you by diverting you from following your deep inner wisdom.

Such obstacles are the result of much life conditioning due to emotional trauma that exists within you and which can be quickly and easily released.

They divert you from your deep core values (i.e. what you desire for yourself in your life) by seducing you into believing things that are essentially not true. For instance an example might go something like this:

1. My feelings of unworthiness keep me from being overly zealous, so that,

2. Others won’t think badly of me, so that,

3. They will like, appreciate, approve of and possibly love me, so that,

4. I can feel accepted by others, so that,

5. I can feel happy, at peace, and like a good or worthy person.

In other words:

(A) The feelings of unworthiness are supposed to make me feel like a worthy person.

Does that sound true to you? Likely not because it is totally illogical. Yet, this is what you have been carrying in your unconscious mind if you have ever entertained feelings of unworthiness.

Is that what you want? If not, kindly admit that to yourself and then notice what happens to your confidence level.

Although this is a difficult concept to put across in article form, if you followed me even half the way you might have noticed some kind of internal emotional shift happened.

What many experience when I work with them directly in this way are some or all of the following: great increase in their sense of self confidence, a complete release of feelings of unworthiness (in this case), great resilience, an inner strength and solidity, a feeling of lightness and buoyancy, happiness, inner peace, a fearlessness, and a greater awareness of what it is that they truly desire for themselves.

In such a transformation what has happened is that they have, by releasing the negative feelings of unworthiness, realigned themselves with their deep inner wisdom, where they hold their core values, and are thus “rewarded” with the feeling state I just described. In such a place they are acutely aware of and strengthened in their ability to manifest what is right for them.

Another way of saying this is that they are more able to be honest with themselves. It is this personal honesty that breeds confidence. To put it another way just notice what happens to your self confidence when you lie to yourself or others. Doesn’t it plummet?

Indeed one might say that when one begins to become “honest” with one’s self that they start to feel so good that it almost becomes painful to diverge from their core values. Another way to say this is that their sensitivity to being out of alignment with their core values becomes uncomfortable and undesirable.

In other words, aligning yourself with your inner wisdom actually “supports” you in staying aligned there. Now how is that for help? You probably didn’t even know that deep within you had such a staunch supporter did you?

Well if you would like to unleash it then kindly visit the web link below where I have a special message waiting for you.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called “Spirituality And Science” (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of “Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation” (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.

Business URL #1: http://www.telecoaching4u.com

It is quite evident that we are living in one terribly noisy
world and it seems to be getting worse every day. Everywhere we
go we are accosted by loud, unwanted sound. When we enter
elevators, malls and restaurants we are engulfed by musak. I
recently had lunch at a popular restaurant and found the
background music so loud that it interfered with normal
conversation and the enjoyment of my lunch. When I asked the
waitress if she could turn the music off, or at least down, she
said, ” I don’t think we can.” Surely we as a people are still
in charge of volume controls.

When you add lawnmowers, snow blowers, leaf blowers, jack
hammers, jet engines, transport trucks, and horns and buzzers of
all types and descriptions you have a wall of constant noise and
irritation. Even when watching a television program at a
reasonable volume level you are blown out of your chair when a
commercial comes on at the decibel level of a jet.

We seem to have created a cultural acceptance of our noisy
world in spite of the fact that it is making us ill physically
and psychologically. We can’t seem to live without background
sound. We have friends who turn on the television the moment
they awaken in the morning and leave it on all day. The house is
just too quiet if it isn’t on. Former highschool students of
mine used to tell me that the first thing they did on arriving
home after school was turn on their CD player as loudly as would
be tolerated by their parents.

Cornell University recently conducted a study to determine the
impact of noise on employees in an open area office space where
people are constantly exposed to fax machines, telephones,
office chatter, shredding machines, etc. Test results revealed
that workers in an open area had high levels of adrenalin in
their urine. Adrenalin is released by the body when under
stress. It prepares us for fight or flight. When these employees
were compared to those in self contained office spaces the
results were startling. People in a quiet, self contained work
area did not have the same high levels of adrenalin in their
urine. They were much more relaxed and less stressed.

A puzzle, demanding attention and concentration, was given to
both groups of employees. The open area group was found to be
less diligent in the solution of the puzzle becoming easily
frustrated and giving up much earlier than the group from the
quiet office. The study also found that workers from the quiet
office slept better at night, had better digestion, were much
less irritable at home and felt better at the end of their
workday than employees from the open concept office. Noise does
seem to effect focus, productivity and general physical and
psychological well being. Noise tends to increase stress levels
which in turn can result in increased frustration, anger and
strained interpersonal relationships. We must begin to establish
a friendship with silence.

How to Make a Friend of Silence

While we have very little control over noise in the environment
at large, we do have control over our own private environment.
This is where we begin to cultivate a friendship with silence.

* Make a conscious commitment to the experience and appreciation
of silence.

* Go for a walk in nature. Let the silence soothe your spirit.

* When you are alone in your residence turn off all noise making
appliances. Begin with fifteen minutes of silence and gradually
increase the duration.

* Learn how to meditate and schedule a ten minute meditation
period once or twice a day. Gradually extend your meditation
time.

* When driving to work, turn off your car radio and drive in
silence.

* Go camping for an night by yourself. Find a quiet campground
where they don’t allow people to blast their music without
consideration for others. I usually go solo camping for one week
each year to be alone and silent in the outdoors. It has become
something I eagerly look forward to.

* Drive to a lake at sunset and rent a canoe. Paddle slowly
along the shoreline observing the silent sights and the gentle
sounds of nature as the sun sets and darkness approaches.

* In silence listen to your breathing. Get a sense of the silent
rhythm of life.

* Just before retiring go outside and look up at the night sky.
You will soon sense another universal rhythm so unfamiliar to
many. Let the night sky and the darkness embrace you and calm
you as you prepare for a night’s rest.

* When you read a book, do so in silence. Many of us read to
music or during television commercials. Try silence. You’ll grow
to love it.

Soon you will begin to cherish the periods of silence you have
built into your day and long for more. You will quickly discover
that you are becoming more relaxed and less tense even in the
midst of our noisy world. You will have made an invaluable new
friend of silence, a friend which can comfort, heal and soothe
your spirit. What a gift you will have given yourself.

Be still and know the restorative power of silence.

At this time it has been a week since I introduced a shortened version of my seminar “Dare Yourself” to a Toastmasters group in a local correction center. I co-facilitate the group with another Toastmasters member. We meet in a room provided by the State operated facility for men that are incarcerated for minor crimes. They could be there anywhere from 1 month to 5 years.

In the middle of my presentation one of the inmates asked me this question, “What is my purpose and how would I know it when I do it”. It was a very profound question in which many of us seemed to be lost in the state of confusion. Keep in mind that these men ended up there because of poor choices they had made along the way of their journey; poor choices without knowing any different.

I pondered for awhile before I answered that gentleman’s question. Here is what came through as I was in Spirit (inspired). People have purpose and conviction mixed up.

When you were born into this life, that was your purpose. There isn’t going to be a lightening bolt come down from the sky and say with a deep voice “John, or Jane, this is what your purpose is supposed to be”. From the time you were born everything you did or do is on purpose.

For example, you eat on purpose to stay alive. You exercise on purpose to stay healthy. You put gas in your car on purpose to get from point A to point B.

There is a misconception about the word purpose. What they are really missing out on in their life is conviction. I tried to help him understand by explaining it this way; when you do something on purpose, it is followed by a result. Conviction is where you take charge of the choices and follow through with your heart. This shows your passion which equals a result—-therefore your purpose. Purpose is nothing more than the true result of your conviction.

© Tony Masiello 2006

Tony Masiello
Speaker, Author, and Consultant
Author of the e-book, Whispers from the Universe http://www.whispersfromtheuniverse.com
http://www.universalinsight.com

One of my favorite songs is Bobby McFerrin’s refrain, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. I recently had the opportunity to observe people’s reactions when a highway was closed because of an accident ahead. As we waited, I watched as some listened to radios, a few began tossing a Frisbee, other’s seemed to be working or reading, and some opted for a quick nap. But, there were also a handful who were clearly agitated and angry. Pacing about, swearing, and upset, they decided that the best response to this event, which none of us could control, was to be very unhappy. I was reminded of Abraham Lincoln’s comment that, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” The following are my Top 10 Tips to increase happiness in your life:

1. Decide to be a happy person. As Lincoln observed, most people, most of the time, can choose how stressed or happy, how troubled or relaxed they want to be. Choose to be happy.

2. Watch and Read less news. As a recovering news addict, I know this can be difficult because the stock market fluctuates, politicians politic, and sports teams compete. But, most of the time, you don’t need the stress. So, just don’t watch. I think it was Henry Thoreau who noted that if you’ve ever read about a train wreck, you understand the principle and don’t need to know any more about it.

3. Practice the Attitude of Gratitude. We all have so much to be grateful for. Just thanking the many people who assist us, encourage us, teach us and open doors for us could take all day!

4. Take Time. My dog has taught me much about loyalty, about noticing the sights, sounds, and smells in the yard, about being relaxed and about play. Eat when you’re hungry, nap when you need it. Get your ears scratched whenever possible!

5. Laugh everyday. Hear a joke, tell a joke, laugh at yourself, laugh with your friends and family and co-workers. There are very few medicines as powerful as laughter, and I don’t think you can over-dose, although it is addicting!

6. Love well. Express your affection, appreciation, friendship and warmth to those around you, and they will almost always respond in the most amazing ways! Be generous…it pays great dividends!

7. Work hard. This one comes as a bit of a surprise, but there is tremendous satisfaction in being competent, and joy in completing our assigned tasks. One of the great sources of happiness is to do work that is worthy of you, and to do it well.

8. Learn something new, everyday. To be happy, most of us must also be growing, expanding, learning and challenging ourselves. Read, listen, adapt and stretch to accommodate new ideas and new information.

9. Use your body as it was designed. Walk and run, stretch, throw things, and lift things. Dance! Exercise is good, but so is making love, mixing up a batch of cookies, or exchanging backrubs. You have a body and it can be either a source of joy, or a source of aches and pains. Your choice.

10: Avoid toxins. I prefer writing positives (things to do) rather than negatives (things to fear), but reality says there are negative people and there are bad chemicals, stressful noises, and unsafe places. Don’t go there! Avoid poisons whenever possible. It seems to work out better that way.

© Copyright 2003 by Philip E. Humbert. All Rights Reserved. This article may be copied and used in your own newsletter or on your website as long as you include the following information: “Written by Dr. Philip E. Humbert, writer, speaker and success coach. Dr. Humbert has over 300 free articles, tools and resources for your success, including a great newsletter! It’s all on his website at: http://www.philiphumbert.com